Your skin is black.

William Caslon I was an English gunsmith who also designed typefaces. The caslon typeface was also used in the first printed version of the United States Declaration of Independence.

Ironically, it's use in a statement adopted for separation from the British Empire is somewhat ironic, isn't it? To declare freedom yet not absolute. I wonder of John Dunlap (The guy who owned the printing shop that transformed the final written draft, signed on July 4th, to print.) was trying to make a point?

It makes me think about the book that I just recently finished. It's called "The Book of Negroes" written by Lawrence Hill. The story is about a woman who was stolen and placed into slavery at the very young age of 11 years old in the 1700's. Her story takes you through her life's turbulent and deeply moving events as she tries to take back her freedom.

I vowed not to give them the pleasure of my pain. But when my turn came, I surrendered to their coarseness and their stink. They dragged me to the branding corner. Their wounding metal was curved like a giant insect. As they brought it towards me, I defecated. They aimed a finger's length above my right nipple, and pressed it into my flesh.

I never really understood the business of the slave trade. This book brought me enormously closer to understanding the history of "Why?" people can be so afraid and angry over skin color.

There's no envy.

On the odd occasion I feel stifled by my own environment. The creation of my own mind and that which has materialized around me.

There are days where I feel as though I could have been born in a different country with out so much as a partial freedom or a pot to piss in. Other days, I envy the fact that I can come and go as I please. The curiousness of what it could have been if I had been born a different person drifts through my mind.

Observing myself, I identify a ritual about how I perform in life and how it hasn't changed for as long as I can remember. In order for me to get myself motivated, I need to listen to music. It substantiates my existence and is so simple yet defining in how I react.

Music drives me forward. Did my mother sing to me when I was a baby?

I guess it could be worse like a dependency on pharmaceuticals or pain. I could ask another question.

In any event, it's the only way I can wake up in the morning and can't imagine life without music and pity the person who is excluded from hearing it.

ePeople

When I sit in front of the computer, I want to read the news.

Then I want to read what people have to say...usually it's someone I know who's blog I am reading.

They have interesting stories, thoughts, and ideas. Sometimes, I even debate with them about their topics but mostly I sit back and listen to what they have to say.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I am an information junkie.

A real Junkie.

Lately, I have been getting this writer's block and haven't felt like saying much other than one-off comments.

This must be the result of doing too much reading, writing and talking about my project at work. There comes a moment where you just run out of fuel.

Actually, I think it's the feeling you get when you've just completed a marathon. You train and devote every free moment to getting yourself prepared. Then you actually run the marathon and finish it. You feel good but empty all at the same time! Then you start to evaluate your performance and see where you can improve for the next one.

Yup.

I kind of feel like an addict. I crave the pressures, excitement, and results of a project but eventually need a break to just re-charge.

I am in 'break' mode.

Brought Back

It's funny how someone you know but never met brings you to a place that you have been to before.

I wrote here nearly a year ago and forgot what I had to say.

I had a conversation with someone about being alone. It was about how I found that I would rather NOT take a lunch than go to a restaurant by myself and eat alone.

I like people and I like the act of sharing a conversation with someone over food.

Social Creature, I am.

But then I am not.

There are many moments of my day where I flat out refuse to socialize and want to be alone. Holed up in my own space. Away from interaction.

Except a book.

I like a good book.

My Natural World....

The flashes of glorious fields that shined under the golden sun while I glided through the tall grass were all but surreal. I imagined that I was walking towards a dark figure in the distance. His arms were raised like a welcoming embrace. His smile was gleeming and refected purfectly white teeth. His dark hair just slightly moving in wisps accross his face while it reacted to the slight breeze.

A little about me...

It's there.

As I sit and ponder...

There are days where I feel completely impatient with people. I liken it to a nasty side of me that is fuelled by pent up frustrations and dysfunctionality. Should I write my true thoughts on the immigration policies of Canada or have you all heard the same story before?

Many of you would think that I would comment on other races but in fact I am simply annoyed at the fact that my country seems to protect criminals. I feel like I am no better of being a good citizen in a Country that allows acts of violence to be justified. I swear that I would love someone to convince me that this is not true but when I read about Conrad Black wanting to come back to Canada, and my Country actually considering it an option, I want to scream.

What about all the sexually offenders that are my neighbors? If I knew where they all were, I think I would be virtually surrounded. I am willing to bet that there are a lot more people out of jail who should really be in jail, in their own country. Screw the registry...it's far too complicated for any average parent to figure out what to do with.

But alas, this frustration will not change. I know it won't because our Justice system is not about justice, it is only about being justified to a degree that leaves gaps in what a government should be designed to do.

What proof and links do I have to prove my thoughts? Google search Canada Justice System. Read Wikipedia. Look at all the case examples of what is allowed in the courts. Read the news and discover the terrifying reports of what I speak of.

This is sad.